The Great 28

Chuck Norris v. David Hasselhoff
Chuck Norris is the most famous name among college students and David Hasselhof is the most famous name in Germany; I will have to call that a tie because I don’t know if there are more people in college or more people in Germany. Chuck Norris had one hit TV show, Walker, Texas Ranger and David Hasselhoff had 2 hit TV shows, Knight Rider and Baywatch; 1 point David. Chuck Norris was in a few good movies and David Hasselhoff was in one good movie, maybe; 1 point Chuck. David Hasselhoff has 4 platinum records in Germany and Chuck Norris sang the theme song to Walker; 1 point David. Today David Hasselhoff is on Americas Got Talent and Chuck Norris is on some Total Gym commercials; I guess that is a tie because both are pretty retarded. Chuck Norris has an amazing beard and David Hasselhoff has an amazing head of hair; that is another tie. Chuck Norris can kill people with his roundhouse kick and David Hasselhoff could probably kick my ass; 1 point Chuck. All things considered I have to say it is too close to call.

27. Made fun of people with accents

Google
Google is the place to be
Google is the place for me
Google can do anything
Google has everything

Chuck Norris; Google it
Phillip Morris; Google it
Clitoris; Google it
Roberts, Doris; Google it

With Google you can search far and wide
Find things from food to a mail order bride
You can search the web, images, or the news
Or blogs, books, maps and your desktop, too.

Google is the place to be
Google is the place for me
Google can do anything
Google has everything

Classic toys; Google it
White noise; Google it
Backstreet boys; Google it
Illinois; Google it

Don’t forget about the Google Toolbar
Download it now and it will take you far
It can search the web and block pop-ups
Or spell check and a bunch of other junk

Google is the place to be
Google is the place for me
Google can do anything
Google has everything

Video game cheats; Google it
Music beats; Google it
Hotel suites; Google it
Chocolate treats; Google it

Google Labs is always at work
Making stuff for you unless you’re a jerk
They are located at lab.google.com
Go there now, don’t ask your mom

Google is the place to be
Google is the place for me
Google can do anything
Google has everything

Gmail, Talk, Groups, Alerts,
Calendar, Catalogs, Froogle, shirts
Videos, Finance, Images, Translate,
Search, Earth, Blogger, choose your fate

The English alphabet has 26 letters

The Five: Talents of Bob
Bob can turn gay men straight and straight women gay.
He can scare children just by taking off his shirt.
He can run faster than your average refrigerator.
If you try to choke him, your hand will get dominated by 9 of his chins.
He can kill flowers just by breathing on them.

Five Hundred 25 Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

I Wish
I wish I knew a girl
We could travel ‘round the world
But that’s not why I need her
I need her so I can breed her

She’d give me some ass
Give me some poon
Afterwards
We could spoon

I wish I knew a girl
We could travel ‘round the world
But that’s not why I need her
I need her so I can breed her

We could make love
Or make babies
Or have a threesome
With two ladies

I wish I knew a girl
We could travel ‘round the world
But that’s not why I need her
I need her so I can breed her

She’d give me head
Give me dome
Give me brain
And fellatio

I wish I knew a girl
We could travel ‘round the world
But that’s not why I need her
I need her so I can breed her

I’d see her boobs
Grab her tits
Give them a squeeze
If time permits

Proposition 24

The Five: Greatest Kanye West Lyrics
1. Late – “I went to junior high with all of them and they been slow, If I can catch the beat then slow down the tempo, Just notice at the end if I'm too late for the intro, Will I make it from the student loans to a Benz-o?, Like old folks pissin, I guess it all (Depends), oh”
2. Roses – “If Magic Johnson got a cure for A.I.D.S., And all the broke muthafuckers past away, You tellin me if my grandma was in the N.B.A., Right now she'd be ok?”
3. Gone – “Says she want diamonds, I took her to Ruby Tuesdays, If we up in Friday's, I still have it my way”
4. Bring Me Down – “It's funny how these wack niggaz need my help, Wasn't around when I couldn't feed myself, Dog, If I was you, I wouldn't feel myself, Dog, If I was you, I'd kill myself, Made a mill myself, and I'm still myself, And I'ma look in the mirror if I need some help”
5. Diamonds From Sierra Leone – “Take your diamonds and throw 'em up like you bulimic, Yea the beat cold but the flow is anemic”

23 Skidoo

That Don’t Make Sense
Look out below like Aladdin
If you don’t I’ll make you mutter like John Madden
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
But you can teach them to fetch sticks

That makes no sense, but it makes sense to me
I’ve been doing this since 1993
Before I could add 3 times 3
That makes no sense, but it makes sense to me
That makes no sense, but it makes sense to me

I know the alphabet except letters A through Z
I know how to count; 1, 5, 3
I can run faster than money
And fly higher than Bugs Bunny

That don’t make sense, but it makes sense to me
I’ve been doing shit since 1993
Before I paid for things that were free
That don’t make sense, but it makes sense to me
That don’t make sense, but it makes sense to me

I read a book, but didn’t look at the words
I took a crap without any turds
I’m a genius, but I’m not a nerd
I came after two, but I wasn’t third

That don’t make no sense, but it makes sense to me
I’ve been doing nothing since 1993
Before I could unlock things without a key
That don’t make no sense, but it makes sense to me
That don’t make no sense, but it makes sense to me

Catch 22

If
If I was a song I’d keep on singing
If I was a bell I’d keep on ringing
If I was a bee I’d keep on stinging
If I was a swing I’d keep on swinging

If I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Everyone would be in love with me
If I were just a little meaner
People wouldn’t be in love with me

If I was a car I’d drive around the streets
If I was a bus I’d be filled with seats
If I was Shaq I’d play for the Heat
If it was Halloween I’d say Trick or Treat

If I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Everyone would be in love with me
If I were just a little meaner
People wouldn’t be in love with me

If I was an idea I’d just be a notion
If I was sad I’d be an emotion
If I was a boat I’d sail across the ocean
If I was the world I’d continually be in motion

If I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Everyone would be in love with me
If I were just a little meaner
People wouldn’t be in love with me

If I was a woman I would be a bitch
If I was Bill Gates I’d be filthy stinkin’ rich
If I was on Charmed I’d be a witch
If I was in a machine I’d be a glitch

21 Gun Solute

Superman v. Batman
Superman is the most powerful being on Earth whose only weakness is Kryptonite and Batman is just a normal man whose weakness is everything, there is no contest. Do the math, obviously Superman would win every time unless Batman had some kryptonite in that gay belt he always wears in which case Superman could fly away and Batman would have to go get his Batjet or Batplane because he can’t even fly. And when is that last time you saw Batman fly around the world so fast that it spun the opposite direction and caused time to go backwards? What kind of superhero doesn’t even have superpowers? I’ll tell you what kind; the gay kind. Why is Batman gay you ask? One word; Robin. I like Batman, but there is no way he could beat Superman, and Robin is a douche bag.

20th Century Fox

I Can’t
I’m not a college dropout like Kanye West
I’m not in a group like a Tribe Called Quest
Unlike T.I. I’ve never been under arrest
And my names never been in Readers Digest

I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
If I could I would be ahead of my time

I’m not a thug like Krayzie Bone
I don’t have a grill like Mike Jones
Unlike Paul Wall I’m just left alone
No one knows me, I’m still unknown 

I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
If I could I would be ahead of my time 

I’m not a G like Bun B
I’m not a pimp like the D O double G
My last names not Houston like Marquis
I’m not famous, that’s a guarantee 

I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
I can’t spit the rhymes all of the time
If I could I would be ahead of my time