44 Way to Succeed

My Name Is… Earl (Eminem – My Name Is…) 

[Chorus (2x):]

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)

My name is.. [scratches] Earl Hicky

Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)

My name is.. [scratches] Earl Hicky

 

Ahem.. excuse me!

Can I have the attention of the class for one second?

 

Hi kids! Do you like karma? (Yeah yeah yeah!)

Would you rather watch some rednecks than learn about dharma? (Uh-huh!)

Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)

Win the lottery, get hit by are car, and lose it? (Huh?)

My brother’s dead weight, we share a bed but we’re straight

I ended up married to my wife, after one date (Ummmm..)

And Crab Man says, “Hey Earl how’s it hangin?”

Uh-uhhh! “Earl Jr.’s black? No me and Joy ain’t bangin!”

Well since age twelve, I’ve beat up on everyone else

And my life sucked so I need to change the hand I was dealt

Then Carson Daly explained it to me

Do good things and good things will happen is the key

I was last in my class and I didn’t pass

But now I got my act together and got off my ass

I mean “butt” (Hicky, you are right, “ass” is bad dog)

Now people can stop judging me like David Hasselhoff

 

[Chorus]

 

All my teachers flunked me out of high school

But I went back, and proved I’m not a fool

Now I am on the other side seeing how students treat teachers

So I got back at them and now they will be good for years (Owwwwwwww!)

Walked in the Crab Shack, to grab a tasty snack

Say “hey” to Crab Man, then pick a number on my list to attack

I stole a women’s leg, I hit a house with eggs

I went to a children’s birthday party and provided the kegs.

Everyone I know I have lied to

I just found out Kenny likes men, instead of women like I do (Damn!)

I told him I would help him find a boyfriend

I made a list and now I must make amends (Oh thank you!)

I explain it to people and some misunderstand

I have a list of bad deeds and I need to fix them with my hands (Aaahhhhhh!)

I live in a hotel and I’m friends with the staff

(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
One is Catalina and now she is Randy’s better half 

 

[Chorus]

 

I can’t escape! I’m in jail now, I’m locked away! (Get him!)

I better be careful, I think I should cooperate!

I’m ready to leave; jail is scary inside (Fuck that!)

I will have to be chained up, held down, and then tied (Huh yup!)

What is next on my list? I can barely decide

Maybe I can do one I previously tried

Stole a car from a one-legged girl

If I cannot do it then I guess my name isn’t Earl (Whoops!)

I was featured on the news at 6 o’clock (hachhh-too)

Because seeing my doing good deeds is a shock (weird)

When I was a dad my kids would go nuts and throw fits

The more sugar they had the worse it gets

I lay awake and with Randy in the bed

And he tells me about the stuff in his head (BANG!)

A dream he had (Arrrggghhh!)

He was Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd was our dad (Yeah?)

And he was being shot at which made him sad

 

[Chorus]