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Archive for June, 2007

#45 Michael Jordan

Posted by Saf on June 9, 2007

Pirates of the Caribbean v. The Original Star Wars
Pirates is basically a rip off of Star Wars, but Star Wars is ten times better. If don’t believe me just picture this:

Captain Jack = Han Solo
Both are filled with badassery and always look out for #1, but still manage to defy expectations and always come through in the clutch.

Will Turner = Luke Skywalker
Both are cute guys who are some how tougher than they look and good with a sword, whether it is a light saber or a traditional sword. And they also grew up without knowing their real parents.

Elizabeth Swan = Princess Leia
Both are strong-spirited women that know how to fight for their selves, and are involved in love triangles with the other 2 guys in their respective movies.

Bootstrap Bill = Darth Vader
Both Luke and Will grew up never knowing their fathers, and Luke’s dad is his mortal enemy Darth Vader (James Earl Jones), while Will’s is Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsgard), an indentured member of the enemy, Davy Jones’, crew. And in the end they help their son in some way.

Davy Jones = Jabba the Hut
Both are hideously ugly and evil and Davy is after Jack to cash in an I.O.U. for a lifetime of servitude, and Jabba has a crew of bounty hunters combing the galaxy for the debt-owing Han.

Tia Dalma = Yoda
Both can see the future, spouts pearls of wisdom using strange grammar, boasts a Force-like mastery of magic (she brought Barbossa back to life) and has a general distaste for personal hygiene.

The Flying Dutchman = the Death Star
In ‘Star Wars,’ the Empire’s Death Star leaves a trail of disintegrated planets and, of course, death in its wake. In ‘Pirates,’ that honor falls to Davy Jones’ ship the Flying Dutchman.

Dead Man’s Chest = Empire Strikes Back
Both end with a climactic cliffhanger with Captain Jack being eaten by the Kraken and Han being frozen in carbonite. As well as Barbossa still being alive, and Vader being Luke’s father.

At Worlds End = Return of the Jedi
Both start with a daring rescue mission Will and Elizabeth sail to the ends of the Earth to bring Jack back from Davy Jones’ locker, and Luke and Leia travel to the edge of the galaxy to rip Han from Jabba’s disgusting clutches.

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